I don't normally feel very inferior but lately I feel like everything I try to do is just going to lead to me falling short. I've been trying for over a year to get another job just to earn some money so I can actually, you know, SURVIVE! I then made a decision to work on getting some foreign languages under my belt and trying to get a degree in becoming an Interpreter/Translator.
But when I tried to asking the College I was planning to attend for the degrees they basically shot me down with the reminder that I don't have a high school diploma. I felt instantly torn down and I was left feeling upset, then I felt jealous when a friend got her call for her mission to Japan. A mission is a two year or 18 month service, that a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints serves in order to spread the word of Christ and his gospel.
So why am I jealous of my friend going a mission to Japan? Well you see back when I was younger I had made it a goal that I would serve a mission once I was twenty one. I had made all these plans to be able to go and instead I was denied the chance, the Bishop at the time tried to make it better by saying I probably will find my husband.
And here I am 7 years later upset and confused. I have become more determined on becoming an Interpreter and Translator but it doesn't make anything easier it just makes me much more stubborn. I want to finally do what I want to do and not have anything bad happen...Probably am asking for too much with that. I've decided to do another blog and this one will be about my life, the crazy experiences and the life changing experiences I've had.
I'm not a very strong person my heart has always been so worn and now when I'm trying to make what I want come to fruition it's just not that easy and I'm terrified that it may backfire and I'll end up worse off. But I'll keep trying and I have to work on these feelings so I can be happy for my friend rather then jealous.
I can do this, you can do this!
KEEP BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Music Is My Love
from my ratemydrawings.com collection
