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Oh Harley why do you torture yourself, over and over again? What is so appealing about Joker? Oh right, because you feel you can make him happy no matter what, especially when he tells you so all the time. I never thought I'd be so close to Harley Quinn like I am now. I use to always think, 'No matter what I will never try for a guy who abuses me.' Yet there I went and now I feel the pain.
Luckily my heart has let go of all love I had towards him. He tried to get me back but I made up my mind he will never have me. But I'm now fighting with my past self.
As if I haven't told you enough about my past but here we go again. In my hometown I had to learn how to fight and take out those who messed with me. I was so feared down in my hometown that some how my "fame" spread to the gangs up north. When I moved here some members of a gang gave me high respect.
I never said this but at times I would hope to get in a fight some days. I won't deny it the rush of having to defend and the thrill of landing a punch was sort of intoxicating. Since I also do what Batman does alot is bottle up my emotions. Why does one need to know that in reality I could just punch my Ex till I felt good?
No I don't ever let others know when my past self creeps up and tries to force it's way out. I'm glad that I have the church because without it, I would be the wildest girl you'd ever know. My hair would be a wild crazy style. I'd have multiple tattoo's, smoking whatever the heck I'd want. I'd own a motorbike and sleep around with whatever guy would want it.
Sounds scary, or unbelievable to my friends?
You'd be surprised. You see I've always been dark and with the sort of crap I've dealt with my life could've been the worst of all. I'd have probably would've put my breaking in skills to use to rob places. Yeah not so innocent. And man do people need to learn that fast about me. Yet the thing is this, all though I wouldn't be innocent without my church I stay fairly clean with it.
Now mind you I'm not perfect so whatever. But I'm a whole lot better then I would be without. You see people don't mess with me, as soon as I give one guy my infamous look he backs up faster then a scared deer being hunted by a bear. Either way my past self will come up. I can't hide my past it's a part of who I am. Being bullied and beaten you learn to grow up real quick. I've gotten use to what life gives me, but darn do I hope it all ends real quick. Otherwise I'm buying myself a punching bag for my pleasure to beat up. :P
Phew got that off my chest. lol
KEEP BELIEVING!!!!!
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