Video Games and Books taking us away from Reality

So from previous posts I'm sure you can guess that my life has become a broken swirl of chaos, pain, stress, and sorrow. I've never felt so down and depressed as I do now and never once have I felt so swallowed up in fear and worry. I have so much that is wrong with where I live and with trying to figure out how to make money come into my life.
Luckily, I have managed to keep my Xbox 360 alive and kicking. I've named the big white box Galacticus. Just because the console is that amazing for still kicking and working long and hard. Plus when I bought it at the Pawn Shop it had a free game disc in it, so SCORE!
With everything crazy that has been happening I've been drowning myself in one of my most favorite games ever. Mass Effect, a story of a soldier who learns of a robotic race coming to wipe out all organic life again. It is one of the most amazing games I have ever played, it draws me in and makes me excited as I run around shooting machines, making friends with awesome aliens, etc.
But I realized very quickly why I love the games so much. If you read from this point on and never played the game there will be big spoilers.
In the game they give a romance option. In the first one you have only two choices, for Female Shepard you can romance Kaidan (human), or Liara (Asari) if you play male you still have Liara but you can romance Ashley. Also the romance options depend on if you save Ash or Kai from the bomb on Virmire.
In the second game you have three options, of course for the female shepard Jacob (human), Thane (Drell), and Garrus (Turian he is also one of four of your crew who is with you in all three games). For male Jack (human), Miranda (human), and Tali (Qurian she is another who is with you all three games).
And in the third game you can literally romance anyone. Garrus, Tali, Miranda, Jack, Thane, Kaidan, Ashley, Liara, Traynor, Cortez. The funniest part of this all is in the Citadel DLC you can have a one night stand with James or Javick. But you can see the fun of the game.
But of course my reason for loving the game so much is Garrus and Tali. Since they are the only two who stay with you all three games. For me that spells true love and trust. They're aliens who have dextro-amino acids, so they have to eat different food from the rest of the aliens. And Tali has a huge risk of getting sick just from taking her mask off. 
But they are there through it all. Saren, Collectors, and Reapers. When I do the romance part of the game I romance one of them.
Garrus is my favorite by far but that is because I can make my female Shep look like me. So meh, can pretend lol. But the real reason I love the games is that it gives me a chance to forget all the things that are going wrong in my life. I can just run around killing Reapers and choosing to destroy them or make synthesis(joining of flesh and machine together) happen.
I don't have to think about how things feel like they are falling to pieces I can just focus on stopping Harbinger. I feel if videogames give you another world to escape they play the same role and part as books, just more choices and action. Anyways just a random write for the day.
KEEP BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darkening Clouds

I live out in the West and as many know we are suffering from a severe drought that could lead to another Dust Bowl. But what is more interesting to me about this all is just the fact that it's making me want to find an answer for all the difficult problems. I find things to be really hard and not a soul can help me. I'm trapped in a place worse then purgatory really.
I can't move forward much. Trying this and hoping friends would support is a sad excuse of hope. I love my friends and family but it just feels like such a waste of time and energy when all I seem good for many of them is just being a listening ear. I'm grateful I can do that but many times I wish they would return the favor.
I wish I could just talk not have someone stop me and say how they see it and causing me to feel I can't open my mouth. When ever I write and I meet new characters they become my screaming voice. The voice that so often is shot down because no one agrees with me.
My mother is the only one who listens to me and I'm very grateful to her for it. I don't know what I would do without her. She makes it easy for me to at least have one person who will listen to me.
I've been having huge struggles with the whole financial crisis of the health care I was provided for an infected finger. And no one seems to get it, they just assume I'll be ok because of where I live. But where I live makes me extra depress and desiring to just run away and live among wolves or something. 
I didn't choose any of this and that's what makes things much more difficult. I wish I had just gone to New York to pursue my writing and fashion. Or that I could've tried for Nasa in building robotics like my father did. I wanted to be MORE then I am now.
And I feel like now I'm just too late, I can't change anything. I am stuck being judged and shot down. Maybe I need to be more harsh, stop my friends but I can't do that, not since I lost my father.
I'm gonna continue thinking of my books, gonna keep writing. Gonna play games I love, read books I love, and just do more to feel happy and excited for life. I miss that each day thinking new ideas writing more and seeing more, then the brick wall with spikes. Wish me luck.
KEEP BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The eye of the storm

Hmm, what a long year this has been so far. And yet I'm still stuck in mid air wondering where I'm going to fall next. Recently I had this dog bite happen and now I have more new problems. 
So the government is suppose to be making sure we get covered by health insurance. Well they just rejected me recently, making up a fake job and tips for me. Really Government if I made any where close to 1700$ a month I wouldn't even bother asking for help. But whatever. 
Then an old room mate who never had me sign anything nor can pursue legal action against me since it's been almost 5 years since I lived with her, threatened me. I of course very calmly told her to just leave me alone because she had no right to do nor say what she said. She hasn't messaged me since but whatever. 
And of course Collections is getting into the mix of things. Luckily I have amazing people who are supporting me and helping me out. And even though I have been over the top stressed I'm grateful that at least something is trying to be done.
Either way I just bought a wig that I'll wear to be the new Mythical Twist, gonna start doing make-up videos and vlogs. I also want to get it started to a point where the make-up will be based off of peoples favorite videogame characters.
That's the biggest and most positive plus I have thus far, playing Mass Effect trilogy, Batman Arkham series, Red Dead Redemption, Remember Me, Prototype, Minecraft, Walking Dead, and the one game to help me scream my frustration out Dark Souls. I'm insane. lol
But either way these games have kept me together thus far. And it's a huge deal because I've been crying way more then normal. I feel we have to find something that can hold us together and luckily I found mine. Still hoping everything else will be fixed soon and I can get back some kind of normal to my life. Either way it will get better somehow.
KEEP BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!