Music Is My Love

Music Is My Love
from my ratemydrawings.com collection

Friday, November 8, 2013

I'm stuck in a mode where the past keeps coming back.

Many of you probably sit there nodding your heads and relating to the pain of being bullied and beaten down. But whenever someone tells me about being bullied in school I always wish that was me. People always find me weird for saying that, but my bullying was my whole town. Yes that included the police. I never got a break. When I finally moved to the "big" city I thought it would change. And to an extent it did, but I've discovered things don't change that easily.
I still have many around me who love me and care but I've notice more of those who when I need help choose to turn it down. Now I get things happening but when someone REALLY needs you, you should jump into action. I don't know why but my cars Serpentine Belt got shredded while I was nearly home. I couldn't believe it and immediately I fell on my knees and cried. I'm still crying, you see I've never gotten a break on being tried. I get an amazing job next thing I know the item I need the most gets a big problem. I wanted to crash down and just disappear. I wanted to just leave be done.
And yet it just isn't in me to give up. I cry a lot and not a single soul around to just hold me when I'm in so much pain. I've gotten use to keeping my pain to myself and just keep a positive outlook for the sake of others, but I noticed people then begin to think I don't need any help or anything. I finally just have a melt down. There was once upon a time a guy from Australia who would hold me as I'd cry and say how strong I was in that moment.
In that moment I realized how no matter how strong someone seems they always need some love from someone. I don't know what will happen but I do know I'm not giving up even if it means saying good-bye to my most favorite and wonderful job ever and moving back to the town that once hated me. I just know this before all that I'm buying lots of Xbox360 games and a new Xbox360, thanks to Xbox One for dropping the price on the old consoles. :) Hey one blessing for the day. :P
KEEP BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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