Have you ever just had a day where you just wanted to curl up in the earth and just wait for the end to come?? I have and many times it comes when I get my paycheck.
Money is always such a HUGE issue for me. Doesn't matter how careful I am with my previous paycheck I still end up short when all the bills I need to pay come up. This is the one issue I am having a huge problem with aside from the fact that I have people who are stepping all over me because of my dreams.
The whole paycheck thing though is bearable compared to what I've experienced which I will post the videos I did about my life challenges.
I keep hoping that nothing worse will happen but then there is always something. I just NEVER seem to have enough.
Luckily I have amazing friends since the Government will never help me. In fact what strokes me the most is the mere fact that I have to pay my taxes off in insallments for social security tax. I am only 23 and will never see that money come back to me.
So that is the one thing that I am very begrudgingly paying. The other items that make me sad is my car and phone. I had this great job as a nanny. The parents though asked me to get a new phone and they said to make sure it was a smart phone. So I got my dream phone the Sony Ericsson Xperia Play. They then also said I needed a car that had airbags. I was sharing cars at the time so sometimes I had a car with airbags the other times I didn't. So I bought my little 2007 Ford Focus to do the job. Then no less then a month after all this I got dropped. The reason? I wasn't as open as I should've been and I didn't leave the house SPOTLESS and PERFECT everytime they came home.
Now if a company were to see this and not hire me over it fine. I don't care. I can do an amazing job but when you push a bar up to impossible standards then of course you'll never get that. But that is in the past but the car and phone payments not so much.
Now what is really bothersome about the payments was that I would've gotten a normal phone to text and call. I would've gotten the 2001 Ford Focus, instead of the newer one.
I find what is really bad about this whole situation political wise is that there are those who are getting money for free. You see I went to apply for unemployment and got nothing. I had to beg my family and friends for help, and plead my case to the credit union that had made the loan for my car to skip one payment. I did get a job after two months of being jobless.
But the problem I have is those who just don't seem to want to try. I am a stubborn son of a gun who just wants to shut the world up and prove that I can make it. But I'm not going to have it easy. I want to go to Cosmetology School but can't because it is required by law to have a high school diploma or GED to be Financially funded.
Well I don't have that Diploma. You see when I was going to school I had a great grade point average of a 4.0 I was very smart and passed all my classes starting college my Junior year. But there was a test, these tests are all called something different but they are required in order for you to pass. I failed my math test by 1-3 points. I never seemed to be able to pass. Didn't matter how hard I tried I couldn't pass the freaking test. And a friend who couldn't pass the English test I helped her but then her helping me did nothing.
A few years ago I heard from someone that our Super Intendent probably messed with my paper to make me fail since he hated my guts. I'm not joking this guy hated me. I didn't care I kept trying and then I just went to a college that accepted me because of my grade point average and not my having a diploma. But that schooling ended quickly when my financial aid was screwed up and I had no money to pay for me to go to school.
I was accepted to a fashion and writing school in New York City. Yet I stayed in my home state in the West. Why? Because I always wanted to show the world what the West was made of. I wanted to show everyone that every one of us has a great potential. Don't sit back and just wallow in what others are saying to you.
I just shoved down my friends throats about the college that wanted me to my work of poetry being showcased in the poets hall of fame Washington D.C.
I have already succeeded so I'm just going to step up my game.
Remember there is NOTHING that can hold you back from your dreams. Keep Believeing!