Oh how much life bites. Admit it we ALL feel that way. Yes even the rich cats in the banks feel this way. Astonishing?? Not so much. You see I have learned a lot about my life and how it works. I learned this through my books and through the many other amazing stories, comics, and videogames.
You see everyone has a rotten life in some form or another. More often then not for those of us who don't even have a good job or even a job we just don't feel that way. We get very self absorbed. It has to be about you else you won't survive right?
I'm one of those who finds the whole end of the world thing to be fascinating. How will we treat each other when the world ends? I'm pretty sure it will be us as wild animals but worse. We will kill anything and anyone, and will eat whatever there is. We'll threaten others and there will be a rise of kidnappings. But I also know that there are lots of good people who will stop those who are going to lose their minds to I need to survive. I understand the whole needing to survive thing but doesn't scare you that maybe you'll become the maniac who kills others just so your survival rate goes up?
I do and so I have done alot of different things to better understand where my head is really at. Am I just fully self absorbed with my self? I'd like to think that I'm not but every time I get my pay check I panic. I have a car, rent, utilities, phone, and a cat to pay for. And then I wonder about food as to if I'll have enough.
You see I'd be able to survive if I lived in the forest and just hunted and grew my own food. BUT we can't hunt without a license and you can't just live in the forest. So I began to become self absorbed. How is so and so able to get a better job then me when I have the experience??
I discovered that we are all at some point or another going to be self absorbed. Stupid I know but still. It is true. We have it in our blood our survival comes first. You, yourself, are the most important person in your life. Even after you have kids and find your love you still will have a survival tick that will make you hesitate just long enough to have your life flicker before your eyes.
Wanting to survive and being self absorbed isn't bad, but I learned that I've lost most of that since I started to volunteer. I volunteer at my local Humane Society and the U.S. Wolf Refuge. Also my job is another one working with disabled people.
When you do let go your body responds to protecting others more then it self. I discovered this upon counting all the scars I had. I have a lot, and most come from helping others, dealing with a vicious dog, and just helping another to have a good time.
My scars make me smile cause the remind me that I wasn't self absorbed at that time. Now I'm just blabbering but I have to share my thoughts and feelings. I have to know more about myself where do I belong and where am I going.
Thanks for reading leave a comment if you want.