Finding My Worlds

Believe Batman 3 Ring Binders by darkknightrises

Have you ever had one of those days were you have a gut sinking feeling that you will be fired from your job next week? During the time when you have to move? And no family or friends can help?

It's a feeling that makes you feel like you're just sinking in a big pit of darkness. No hope, no way to make it through this life, nothing. Just you and reality.

You just feel powerless and your mind tells you there is no happy ending! But could there really be a happy ending just having us believe that there is?

I saw this movie last night after a day of terror of losing my job and just not being able to get another job. The Insurance companies that wanted to hire me wanted me to pump out about 1,500$ to work with them first. Ain't gonna happen.

So I was frustrated because here I am trying to make a difference in my life and I couldn't.

So the movie that just happened to be on was called Bedtime Stories. This movie was awesome in so many ways. First off it deals with a man whose life is pretty good but he doesn't have a wife. So he watches his niece and nephew and at night they help him tell a good bed time story. But through out the bedtime stories he tells the kids there are no happy endings. He gets fired from his job and has to move out from were he lives. But while feeling sorry for himself he gets to hear his father who says, "Don't you get to make your own happy ending?" With renewed confidence he does, and he gets the girl of his dreams in the end.

One of the things that we as humans feel is that since you can't force another to do something (Unless if your the government) then there is no way you can have a happy ending.

One of my other dark sorrows of yesterday was just about my whole life. I grew up being a tough girl, not when I was really little. When my father was still alive I was just a little princess. But when he died I had to bear my fists and throw some punches since I was bullied.

In High School I worked hard to get my 3.5 GPA throughout the four years I attended. But one stupid test froze me from moving forward. I took that test 20 different times, in the hope I could pass. I would study eat brain helping foods, run over what I studied just before taking the test. And yet I could never pass it. So it didn't matter how hard I worked I got nothing to show for how hard I tried.

I fight that's just who I am, and because of my stubborn nature I don't hold a regular job very well. If I see a better way to do something I do it that way, and that gets buisnesses grumpy despite my bringing in a flood of customers.

The one job place that had fired me ended up losing almost ALL of their customers. Why? They met me at places they shopped and asked how my work was, when I just said oh I got fired they would be outraged and vowed not to go there anymore. They kept their word.

I can help a buisness grow when given the opportunity to be myself. But since most jobs want you to be a mindless robot following all their orders, I can't work for them. So instead I blog. I do Squidoo lenses. I design zazzle products. I'm just me.

Hopefully some company will see me as a good assit since I don't have a huge clientel here on the internet yet for this to pay for me to survive. So wish me luck, and remember you make your own happy ending. :)

KEEP BELIEVEING!!!